Bands No One Admits Listening to That Have Sold Millions of Albums

Who bought all those Nickelback records anyway?

You know them, you may even own their complete discographies but you'll never cop to loving (or even remotely liking) 'em. Still, consider these bands implacable, stone-cold facts of today's musical landscape.. (Drum roll please)

Bands no one admits listening to that have sold millions of albums.

Nickelback

New nose, new haircut and Avril Lavigne. Does it matter what the hipsterati have to say about the biggest Canadian musical force since Bryan Adams? Does it matter that he's proved himself on a lyrical level with the likes of Dr. Dre and 2 Live Crew when waxing on that "She looks much cuter with something in your mouth." 50 million Nickelback fans can't be wrong. No matter how much we wish they were.

Disturbed

Has David Draiman done the world a favor by knocking Disturbed on the head at least for the time being? Clearly this Torah citing rock institution has had their share of fans and detractors over the years, but you can't argue with the millions that have been down with the proverbial sickness. Hey, I'll even confess a passing fondness for their 'Ten Thousand Fists' album. These nu-metal post-grads took rock radio in their steely grip as early as 2000 and haven't let go, racking up 13 million records sold worldwide and four number one debuts.

Creed

Praise the Lord that these one-time arms-wide-open Tampa-reared Jesus freaks have pretty much called it a day. Yes, Creed did shift mucho product with their post-Pearl Jam moves and spiritual truisms (see songs like 'Higher'). Still, it didn't help that frontman Scott Stapp has made a tool of himself starting with getting slapped with a couple DUI's and committing general rockstar silliness at the peak of Creed's career. Would make that him a convenient Christian? See U2 for inspiration on that score. Now, thankfully, guitarist Mark Tremonti did manage to keep it real with Alter Bridge and his solo work. Of course there was that dreaded Creed reunion tour last year.

Insane Clown Posse

The Joker’s card has clearly been dropped on us all. Violent J. (Joseph Bruce) and Shaggy 2 Dope (Joseph Ultster) have taken their carnival of carnage, once mired in over-the top gangsta rap, pro-wrestling and cult superstardom and turned it into one of their hometown of Detroit’s minor (but sizeable) industries. While they’ve turned to mellower (dare we say spiritual) lyrical turf: make sure you check their pop-culture piercing “Miracles” video, ICP still manage to stir the cultural Faygo (their beverage of choice): they recently sued the FBI itself for classifying their fanbase (known to the world as Jugalos) as a gang. Clearly, a nation of millions can’t hold ‘The Clown back.

Korn

Korn partied at Ground Zero for Generation Nu. Jonathan Davis provided the requisite angst for the Juggalo Nation. They became Metallica for a generation to whom Rage Against the Machine was Led Zeppelin, and Dr. Dre's 'The Chronic' was a cultural touchstone. The band itself plumbed the depths of the seriously downtuned and dissonant like nobody's business. and created a genre in the process. Two records later they pimped it all out with the thumping disco beat of Follow the Leader and gave Fred Durst a career in the process. And yes, Korn has spawned a ton of shitty music: on the other hand, they also inspired the likes of Slipknot and Deftones. Now Korn don't suck. They've just become culturally uncool. And their recent remix platter certainly beats the pants off lowbrow beat-slingers like Methods of Mayhem. Then again bassist Fieldy did think his rap solo project Fieldy"s Dream was a good idea. Not so much Reginald.

Styx

Sure, former Styx keyboardist, songwriter and occasional vocalist Dennis DeYoung may be one of rock's most pompous players (yes, he still performs as "Dennis DeYoung and the Music of Styx"). And sure, songs like 'Mr. Roboto' may be permanently anchored into the firmament of '80s schlock. Still, Styx gets a raw deal when they've delivered some of history's finest schmaltz-rock with the likes of 'Lady' or perhaps the greatest paen to alien abduction: 'Come Sail Away' on 1977's big, bombastic and many-times-platinum 'The Grand Illusion.' Let's not forget that some of their '72-'76 output scraped the outer limits of prog whilst flirting with the mainstream. OK, perhaps those inclinations went awry with gawdawful concept records like 1983's 'Kilroy Was Here' but there's a lot more to these chart-scaling Chicagoans than their impact on Middle American wedding receptions.

Limp Bizkit

Bless Fred Durst. He did it all for the Nookie and reaped the rewards of transforming himself into Dr. Dre for the soul-patch set. Still, he has tried to legitimize himself acting in a few films and directly the family-friendly flick 'The Longshots' in 2008. Can a man truly escape his past? Does he need to? Fred certainly shifted the units back in the day. A lot of 'em. Well, it's 2013 and despite lackluster sales of the Bizkit's 'Gold Cobra,' 2011's "comeback" album, The Durst presses on, now signed to Lil Wayne's Cash Money Records for both a new album and a sequel to 2005's 'The Unquestionable Truth Part 1' with long-time producer Ross Robinson in-tow. So what if Limp Bizkit turned Woodstock 99 into the Altamont of Nu-Metal and authored some of history's finest mainstream mook-rock? Plenty of roofers, ex-Marines and Nookie-ettes will always understand.