White Lung Frontwoman Calls Allegaeon ‘Annoying and D–kless’ Over Patreon Campaign

Earlier this week, we reported that Colorado death metal outfit Allegaeon had launched a Patreon campaign in order to stay afloat and remain a band. Citing the expenses of being a band on the road along with a financial target that would allow them to continue and support themselves, they've asked their fans to supplement these costs with monthly donations. Misha Barber-Way of Canadian punks White Lung has found this reprehensible and launched a tirade in a piece run by CLRVYNT, calling Allegaeon "annoying and d--kless" among a slew of other scathing remarks.

In her opening paragraph, Barber-Way states how she learned of the Patreon campaign that Allegaeon had established, calling out the members as "officially the laziest, most pathetic, sub-human beta males in America." Quoted below is an excerpt from the White Lung singer as she schools the band on how to manage costs better:

Your begging video was a complete joke. As I listened to your "TM" [tour manager] spout off all the money you owed (over $8,700), I was shaking my head. If you were a small business, you would fold. I listened to your tour expenses, and you guys are such morons. You are paying people you don't even need. First off, management. If your manager was doing his job, you wouldn't be in this position. Fire him. Two, a driver? Can none of you drive? Stop ruining his life and let him go after a lucrative career – unlike you lazy s--t brains. Don't fire your agent. He is your only hope. Have none of you any business skills? Stop hiring people to do jobs you are capable of. Cut the expenses, except essentials like gas, shelter and water. Do you pay taxes or collect? Do you even file?

She wasn't done there, also going on to say, "This is more pathetic than people who fake disability or rob small stores for money. At least those people are ashamed of themselves – they know what they are doing is sad, sub-par human behavior."

"You guys are annoying and d--kless. I blame myself," Barber-Way continued. "Feminism did this to you weaklings." Feeling the band was fleeing responsibility and running back into adolescence, she got in another dig, adding, "Nothing dries a vagina as quick as a blow dryer and your whole campaign is the Dyson Supersonic."

As the frontwoman was wrapping up her statement, she explained how she too juggles personal responsibilities with life on the road, stating, "I have to go. I caught a 7AM flight to Minneapolis to transfer to Iowa City to play a festival, then fly back to Austin, Texas for another. I leave that night and land in my home of L.A. that morning to and go straight back to my job as an account executive." Read the full statement here.

After launching the Patreon campaign, Allegaeon released a lengthy statement, revealing that “ultimately, our goal is to meet the average U.S income of $51,939/yr. for each member, which totals to $21,637/month." The death metal act has released four records, all on Metal Blade, with the latest being Proponent for Sentience. For more information on the campaign, head to the band's Patreon page.

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