10 Best Black Friday Songs
As people start defrosting their turkeys in preparation for Thanksgiving, they are also planning for the shopping bacchanal known as "Black Friday," where hordes of shoppers descend onto outlet malls and discount shopping centers to sate their lust for the best deals on electronics and household items.
We here at Noisecreep believe that such a momentous ritual of animal lust and instinct-driven consumption deserves a proper soundtrack. When the doors open Thursday night and the mass of screaming bodies pushes you forward into the fray, put your ear buds in and let our playlist drown out the howling madness that surrounds you. This is our list of the 10 Best Black Friday Songs.
This Megadeth song is the perfect track to kick off our list of the 10 Best Black Friday Songs. Start it just before the doors of your chosen shopping venue open, and 'Good Mourning' will bring you the warrior's calm you'll need to begin. And with any luck, as the doors open and the mob presses you into the ritual space, 'Black Friday' will kick in, working you up into a proper frenzy.
In voodoo tradition, a black cat bone brings its owner good fortune and wards off bad luck. Let this track by Goatsnake serve as your good luck charm, seeing you safely through the throng of shoppers and helping you find the best deals before they're all taken.
At some point during your shopping exploits, you may have a moment of clarity. You might begin to question why or how you ended up fighting a grandmother for a new XBox One. If that moment comes, Slayer can provide the answer with 'Black Magic.' Tom Araya's words begin to sink in as your heart fills with terror at what you've done. But then the consumer spell strengthens its grip on your soul, and after prying the granny's fingers from your new video game console, you speed away toward the digital cameras.
As we continue the 10 Best Black Friday Songs playlist, the consumer lust has taken you over completely by now. When you turn inward to look at your heart, there is only darkness. Electric Wizard understands your inner emptiness and sympathizes with 'The Sun Has Turned to Black.' Let this slow, churning song soothe the raw hole where your heart once resided.
Shopping on the blackest day of the year is like going to battle. Often-overlooked metal mavens Exumer provide the right inspiration for the fight. And if you're wondering who might be the person behind all of this capitalist carnage, Exumer would tell you it's 'A Mortal in Black.'
We find ourselves at the mid-point of our list of the 10 Best Black Friday Songs. At this point, your energy may be waning. But you can't give up yet. This blistering assault of a track from Unearth, 'Black Hearts Now Reign,' will provide you with the energy you need for your second wind. It also lets you know all hope is lost. But at these prices, who's complaining?
Now that your shopping cart is full and your Christmas list is fulfilled, it is time to make your way to the checkout lines. High on Fire's 'Blessed Black Wings' will help you soar through the crowd and find your way to your shopping climax. You've reached the home stretch now.
As the sleepy, agitated clerk scans your new mobile devices and kitchenware, you watch the numbers add up on the screen in front of you. You know something's not right, and so does Deep Purple. Ian Gillan's words in 'Black Night' seem to elicit in you a homesickness borne from your weary legs and aching back. You start to feel bad, but stop when you think about booting up your $200 laptop for the first time.
Reflecting on all of the amazing Christmas gifting solutions you've acquired, you feel triumph. As you push your cart of gifts out to your car, your feet fall into step with the jagged guitars and pulsing drums of Testament's 'Souls of Black.' Let this monster of a metal track carry you on home.
We close out our list of the 10 Best Black Friday Songs with this classic from Metallica. 'Fade to Black' will serve as your lullaby, sending you off to a coma assisted by purchase-induced dopamine. Just don't listen to this track when you get your credit card bill in January.