Zoroaster Show Us the Bus That Broke Down
Atlanta’s Zoroaster can always be counted on to be louder than imaginable, to keep the party going, and be on tour all the time, but when the band let Noisecreep take a look around their tour vehicle, it was not expected for the band to roll up in a bus. Has the sonic sludge of Zoroaster taken off, and the band made it big — like models hitching rides on the bus big? Nope. “We’re really not at the point we should be [on a bus] but we’re like f— it,” guitarist Will Fiore told Noisecreep. “I never thought I would be on a bus. We’re not gonna make any money on this tour. So we’re like, ‘let’s lose money and go on a bus and be f-g idiots.'”
This bus — that Fiore believes Firehouse spent six months in back in ’92 — was being shared by Burst, who along with Zoroaster were set to join up with Gojira as support for a string of dates. But as Fiore gave a tour of the bus, loud grinding gurgles began shaking its frame. Fiore said the noises sounded like “a motor boat.” The bus driver called it “a towable offense” that he’s never seen in all his years of driving.
Fiore explained how the band even ended up on the bus, “This is one of those tours you’re just doing for the exposure. We’d make more money if we just went out on our own. So we’re sharing a back line with Burst and we’re throwing them a little money for the bus so here we are, on a bus that got us to Asheville [N.C.], and that may be it.”
Money aside Fiore has always been curious as what a bus tour would be like. “You’re driving around and you see tour buses and you wonder who’s in there and what they’re doing. I bet it’s really awesome and then here I am in the back listening to [Creedence Clearwater Revival] and dancing like an idiot and stuff,” Fiore laughed. “I don’t think this is what people do on these buses but who knows.”
But for Zoroaster, a tried and true DIY band, the bus is a chance to put feet up and not feel like traveling pirates living in a shoebox for a change. “With us, me and Dan [Scanlan] started Terminal Doom Records and put our own records out, and we used to have our own little shuttle bus that we built out with bunks,” Fiore explained. “So we pretty much pay for everything. S— breaks down, we pay for it. We put out a record, we pay for it. We record, we pay for it. It’s kind of cool to get on this thing and not think about s—. When we get somewhere, we play for 25 minutes and not worry if someone is sober enough to drive or need to find a place to stay. F— it. Luckily, my bunk’s on the floor, so I can just fall down and roll over.”
“We just bought handcuffs at the truck stop,” Fiore sneered out, with a plot in his eyes. Known as a band of partying legends, having an item such as this is no surprise. “There was this truck stop, and there was this whole section — and on the handcuffs it says ‘Truck Stuff,'” Fiore points out. “How is handcuffs truck stuff? Whatever. There will more fun than if we didn’t have handcuffs.”
One benefit of making the sacrifice of chipping in for a bus is there will possibly be less damage to personal items this time on tour. “So we Priceline hotels every night and we were in this hotel,” Fiore began, telling a story of classic destruction from two tours ago. “And we were all f—ing wasted, and of course they closed the pool down that day so we were mad throwing beer bottles in the empty pool, and about three, four in the morning I’m semi-passed out on the bed with Dan and Nick, our light man, out on the balcony. I just hear this noise. I go, ‘What in the f— is that noise?’
“And I look over and Dan’s computer is open on the desk and Brent [Anderson] is just pissing right the f— in it. I’m just like, ‘Brent what are you doing?’ And he’s like, ‘I’m peeing.’ ‘Your pissing in Dan’s computer!’ ‘No I’m not.” He starts hitting the buttons, and at that point I get up to go over to him and the screen goes blank and he’s still just letting it go. He pissed for like two minutes, right into the keyboard. So it was just f—ing puddles pouring out, covering the entire desk.
“We had already had three complaints where they told us if they came up one more time we’d be out. Then Dan comes in, and I tell him his computer is fried. And he goes, ‘Oh, that funny.’ ‘No really,’ I said. And then he starts throwing the computer against the wall, and him and Brent are yelling at each other, and he throws Brent across the room. I just got dressed and packed my bag and sat on the bed waiting to get kicked out. Luckily Brent just left and slept under a bridge somewhere.”
Zoroaster and Burst missed the first date of the tour supporting Gojira, as two affordable replacement buses raced to pick the bands up. For the bands to get a bus to them in a shorter time frame, it would have had to have been a newer model, which would have cost the bands $12,000 over their budget.