What's more jarring than the incessant, high-pitch of the alarm clock you want to smash to smithereens with your fist every AM as it drags you from a (hopefully) peaceful slumber? Why, a wake up cup of Valhalla Java, served by Zakk Wylde, of course!

The guitar god has teamed up with Death Wish Coffee Company, purveyors of the World's Strongest Coffee, for his brand new Valhalla Java, which is designed to give you the strength and determination to be merciless forever, according to the artist himself in this commercial.

This blend is a fair trade, organic, all-natural, dark roast coffee that is also ultra-caffeinated and proven to keep drinkers awake without the addition of any potentially harmful additives present in many energy drinks. Sounds like you get all the benefits of the caffeine buzz, sans the crash once the sugar rush burns off. The artisan roast promises to make sleep futile!

Wylde's big, bold and booming voice is featured in the hilarious commercial. So is his beard. The spot shows the transformative power of the coffee. Watch and see what we mean.

Interested in brewing a few cups? Grab it here. Sip it if you dare.