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Torche Guitarist: ‘A Bat Peed in My Eye’

Tony Lynch

Remember that time Ozzy bit the head off a bat? Batkind sure does, and last week, one particularly spiteful winged mammal took revenge on heavy metal musicians everywhere and “pissed straight into” the eye of Andrew Elstner, guitarist for the Florida band Torche, Pitchfork reports.

Elstner was in St. Louis at the time, staying with a former roommate in a house built in 1824. When the rocker entered his room and flipped on the lights, a trapped bat freaked out and flew all over the room, working up a fit that evidently went from hissy to pissy.

“As it passed by my head a fourth time at light speed, it managed to piss on my right eye,” Elstner wrote, describing the mishap in an email to Pitchfork.

The guitarist didn’t think much of it, but the next day, he was told by “everyone from the local vet, to our family doc, to Animal Control, to my friend who’s an eye surgeon, to the nerds at the CDC in Atlanta” that he should get vaccinated for rabies.

He agreed to the treatment, and on March 30, he began the lengthy process.

“Feel like I’m getting treated for a unicorn bite,” he wrote. “I didn’t feel like rolling the dice any more than I already do.”

In happier news, Torche are getting ready to tour in support of their new album, Harmonicraft, which drops April 24. Now that the score is rockers 1, bats 1, maybe we can call a truce.

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