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Taintstick Pick Their Favorite Metal Songs and Albums

Tainstick

Taintstick, featuring satellite radio personality Jason Ellis and Good Charlotte‘s Benji Madden on bass, just released ‘Six Pounds of Sound,’ their comedic metal album. In honor of the release, the band members selected their favorite metal songs and album of all time. One of the Taintstickers even managed to throw some props to Phil Collins, even though he is decidedly un-metal, and made a strong case and argument for Collins’ metal-ness. Said member may want to reconsider a career in the legal arts after presenting this case for Collins.

Jason Ellis’ pick: “I pick Metallica because they’re better than anyone ever (of all time)! ‘Master of Puppets’ is my go-to if I had to. It has it all! The singing with the most power, anger and raw fury of any man ever! If evil could talk, it would be James singing. The lyrics are too sweet: talking to drugs, drugs talking back. Amazing! It’s a f—in’ evil roller coaster of glory, up, down, sad and angry. Crushed, come back to kick ass! Metallica is me, and I am Metallica. F— you! Red dragons!”

Benji Madden’s pick:Danzig‘s ‘ Mother.’ I picked this song because, in my opinion, it rules, and I have some memories with it. I’m not the biggest metalhead, but this song represents different aspects of metal well. Metal is cool. I’m cool, so I guess you could say me and metal are friends. We hang out after school.”

Cowf—er’s pick: “Phil Collins’ ‘One More Night.’ The height the living legend’s metal mastery, a typically sleazy lyrical overture in which Phil asks a chick he’s breaking up with him to satisfy him one last time before he moves on to his next conquest. Look, here’s all you need to know about 1985-era Phil Collins: He’s bald on top, with scraggly long hair in the back. Who did that … other than the Scorpions? Metal. He plays drums while he sings lead vocals. Who does that? Metal bands. That’s who. By all accounts, he did a guitar-shaped, swimming pool-sized mountain of cocaine in his heyday. The only metal bands that didn’t do that couldn’t afford the coke or the pool. And the capper: Phil recently retired from playing drums, because his riddled metal-ass hands would no longer hold the sticks. Before he finally gave it up, for years, he regularly taped the sticks to his useless appendages, in order to keep rocking audiences the world over. I mean come on – the guy from Slayer can totally still play drums. Phil Collins is a metal messiah.”

Tussin Wolf’s pick:Dragonforce‘s ‘The Warrior Inside.’ There’s a reason every Dragonforce song sounds the same: that song is perfect. Through sheer speed and repetition, they have achieved ultimate metal. The reason is math; they have the most notes, so they win. If they listened to naysayers who wished they would ‘sing in a lower register’ or ‘limit themselves to two guitar solos per song,’ or ‘use an even slightly different beat,’ they would dilute the awesome sky-searing power of their music. So why ‘The Warrior Inside?’ It opens with a MIDI horn fanfare. Brutal!”

Shoebox’s pick: “‘Burning Inside’ by Ministry. Not the album version but the version from the live record, ‘In Case You Didn’t Feel Like Showing Up.’ It’s relentless. Malevolent. Loud as f—. Petrifying. I love it so much I ripped it off when constructing the drums and feel for ‘F— Ur Face.’ Al [Jourgenson] has pretty much sucked for the past 20 years … but this is proof that he is a motherf—er at heart.”

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