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Ozzy Gives Out Advice on Hangovers and Driving, Among Other Things

Bryan Bedder, Getty Images

Ozzy Osbourne may not hold a medical degree, but that’s not stopping him from doling out advice to anyone who’ll listen. His new book ‘Trust Me, I’m Dr. Ozzy: Advice From Rock’s Ultimate Survivor’ is out Oct. 11th and in it the Prince of Darkness shares nuggets of wisdom and parcels of advice which should serve many metal fans well.

Our friends at Snakkle.com just listed some of Osbourne’s advice tidbits. So, what does he have to say about hangovers? Well, one good drink deserves another, so to speak! “It took me 40 years of trying everything and anything to make the morning-after feel better-short of actually giving up booze-until I finally realized that the only thing that ever worked was just to get s—faced again. Like a lot of things, it was obvious in hindsight,” Sharon’s husband writes.

Ozzy also reveals he is not a good driver, as it took him 19 turns to pass the driving test and earn his license. What’s that tell you? Stay off the sidewalk. He reveals, “I only finally became legal in October 2009. Not that it ever stopped me from driving, mind you: If anyone ever asked me if I had a license, I’d just say, ‘Oh yes,’ which was sort of true: I had a TV license.” Oh, Ozzy! You rule breaker.

Ozzy also offered a brilliant suggestion when serving up revenge in the mail, courtesy of his missus. The secret to effectively sending someone a pile of s—, literally? A Tiffany box. The blue boxes make for a brilliant disguise. He writes, “Take a leaf out of my wife’s book, and do it right: Put it in a Ziploc bag inside of a Tiffany’s box. Everyone loves to get a Tiffany’s box-which makes the thought of them untying the ribbon and bow to find a fresh dump inside even more satisfying.”

The good doctor also recommends avoiding phrases like “meat thermometer” and “one-eyed yogurt slinger” when courting a girl. That one was sort of obvious, Oz!

Watch Ozzy Osbourne Talk About His ‘Scream’ Album

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