Ozzy Comments on DNA Research in His Health Advice Column

You may have heard that researchers in St. Louis are part of a team that will try to determine why decades of substance abuse hasn't had the expected effect on Ozzy Osbourne by mapping his death-resistant DNA. Osbourne himself hired the DNA mappers to the tune of approximately $65,000. His continued survival is a cold, hard fact that has even the Ozz man himself completely and totally befuddled. While some people have thought this is a publicity stunt to help promote Osbourne's new album 'Scream,' he is actually advocating and advising healthy living ... in a column.

Yes, you read correctly -- Ozzy is writing a column in The Sunday Times, which offers health advice. In a column published on June 6, Ozzy himself expressed confusion at his defiance of medical odds, writing, "By all accounts I'm a medical miracle. It's all very well going on a bender for a couple of days -- but mine went on for 40 years." He also mentions that he has a rare genetic condition that gives him a Parkinson's-like tremor, which has become somewhat of the Prince of Darkness' trademark.

So what does mapping Osbourne's DNA really do? It might not provide answers as to why Ozzy has survived despite the abuse he served his body, but it might link changes in human DNA with the environment, and that is a scientific study worth embarking on, even if he is the guinea pig.

Maybe Osbourne is just invincible? Maybe some things are not meant to be explained? Or as Jeff Goldblum says in 'Jurassic Park,' life finds a way.