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Gwar, ‘Gwar’s Bloody Pit of Horror’ — New Album

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Blood-drinking, Antarctic rock gods Gwar have returned to their ice-bound fortress and will release their new album, ‘Gwar’s Bloody Pit of Horror,’ this fall through Metal Blade Records in conjunction with the second part of their two-year celebration of their 25th anniversary. It’s always a party when it comes to Gwar.

“It’s quite horrible, really,” frontman Oderus Urungus told Noisecreep, giving us a sneak peak into the heart of this new master-turd. “First off, all the band members argue so much that we make sure we never see each other in the studio. So we all have our own concrete bunkers that we yell at each other from. As usual, they do all the work whilst I loll about in a corpulent torpor. Once the entire album is recorded, I sneak into the studio and yell at the producer about how I was left out of the entire recording process. They actually just sample choice bits of my hateful rantings and construct the vocals out of that. Any more effort than that would simply be just too good, and people’s heads would explode when they tried to head-bang to it.”

But wait, that’s not all. The new album is reportedly “heavy as f—,” and features songs like ‘Hail to Genocide,’ ‘Storm Is Coming,’ and ‘Tick-Tits.’ Whoa, ‘Tick Tits’? “That’s a song about a chick whose tits are covered in ticks … big fat gray puffy ones,” said Oderus in a statement. Sounds delicious. A full track list and official release date is expected soon.

Additionally, ‘Bloody Pit of Horror’ shares its name with a film, which does not go unnoticed by the often oblivious and always brilliant, Oderus Urungus. “We are fully aware that there is a movie of the same title, I assure you it has nothing to do with it, save the title, which we stole from them. But you see, we’re calling it ‘Gwar’s Bloody Pit of Horror,’ and that’s a little different, so hopefully we won’t get sued!,” Oderus said in the same official statement.

In other Gwar news, the Slave Pit, Gwar’s pit of slaves, located in Richmond, Va., is busily preparing for the re-awakening of an ancient Gwar tradition, the Gwar-B-Q! Back in the early days of Gwar, the slaves used to throw parties in the pit in the hopes of attracting helpless women. These parties grew in size and fury as other bands and insane artists got involved, before ceasing like Studio 54. But you can’t keep a good slave pit dormant, and the return of the Gwar-B-Q is Aug. 8 at the Bike Lot in Richmond, Va.

In case you missed it, you can check out the office visit Oderus paid to Noisecreep in December 2009. He was about to stage a hostile takeover after appearing in a video interview, but our fearless leaders distracted him and then he forgot about his nefarious plans, moving on to something else.

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