Dark & Somber Greetings Blackens Your Happy Occasions

Screw the Hallmark aisle at your local Target or CVS. Don't fool around with Photoshop, either. Go access the burnt offerings of Dark & Somber Greetings, a Los Angeles greeting card company that offers cards festooned with iconic black metal imagery. These grim, utterly frostbitten greetings consist of items such as birthday cards that celebrate the quickening to your death with spiked gauntlets and loads upon loads of corpse-painted lads. Farron Loathing and Courtney Frystak are the brains behind this endeavor.

While it may be too late to send a holiday card -- and really, do black metallers celebrate the birth of Jesus?! -- you can stock up on black and white cards for the upcoming celebrations in your life. There are even blank cards that you can choose from, and they're very affordable, with a price tag of just $4.

Noisecreep's favorite card of the lot? The one with the indiscernible font, which opens to read "It says Happy Birthday!" Nothing like riffing on the genre that takes itself as seriously as a virgin sacrifice.

Dark & Somber Greetings: When you care enough to send the very blackest!