Tommy ‘Accused’ Niemeyer Knows How to Have Halloween Fun on the Balcony

"If you live in an apartment complex more than two stories high, with decks, balconies and walkways that are overlooking and are directly above a sidewalk -- well then, you creeps, this is the Accused's Halloween Hot Ticket for you," Tommy 'Accused' Niemeyer told Noisecreep.

Below is Mr. Niemeyer's prescription for some Halloween fun!

You'll need:
-- One life-sized mannequin/dummy body with scary face/head, but keep it lightweight. No golf club legs or bowling ball heads.
-- Make from old jeans and long-sleeved T-shirt filled with rags, and zip-tie the jeans and shirt together and poke holes around edge of both and 'stitch together' with zip-ties. Do same with some old boots or hi-tops for feet. The mask/head usually needs to be duct-taped on. You get the idea ... just keep it lightweight!
-- 30 feet to 75 feet of sturdy rope depending on what floor you're on; nylon kind is OK.
-- A friend with a loud, scary bellowing/screaming set of lungs beside you on the balcony
-- Darkness and stealth -- no drunk buddies up there with you screaming, "Oh, man! this is gonna be sweet!!!" -- you'll need patience for the pay-off.

What to do:
-- Attach the rope to your dummy so that it can take being dropped and hung without decapitating it or its arms falling off, etc.
-- You'll need to hang rope over the edge with out dummy, then account for weight and elasticity of the whole drop to determine optimum anchor spot for the rope. Do not hold it in your bare hands! (Remember dude in 'Jaws'? F---in' rope sliced through his palms like a hot knife through butter! Yeouch!)
-- Quietly position the dummy so it is easily pushed off the railing without alerting the victims below.
-- When you spot a trick-or-treater skipping down the sidewalk and it looks like he/she needs to have the s--- scared out of them, push your ghoul over the deck railing and have that friend (the one with the loud voice we mentioned in the ingredients) f---ing scream in the most insanely scary yowl he's got;
-- If all goes right, as it did for me when someone taught me this years ago, you should be able to rack up a good number of completely terrified and/or pissed off people in just a few hours of tossing and reeling in of your Bastard on the Balcony™ fun-kit! New for 2009 from Splatterhead Toy Company, Troy, Mich. (A division of I'm Totally Lying Inc.)

"Good luck, Splatterheads," Niemeyer said. "Have a f---ing insane Halloween! Martha will be watching you."